I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
