so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
