Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
