so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize