Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
