he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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