Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
