i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
