So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
