Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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