Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
