We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
