She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
