He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize