its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize