Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
