He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
