We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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