There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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