how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
