But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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