We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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