At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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