I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
