btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
