Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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