It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
