So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
