I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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