i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
