tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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