The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
