dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
