Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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