You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
