Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm both gender and math confused
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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