Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
