Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
