would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
