went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
