Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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