ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
