I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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