Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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