after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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