Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I party with great urgency now.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
