Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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