so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
