it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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