Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
