Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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