he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
