Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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