are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
