meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize