I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
