During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
No subtext here. People are naked.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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